So lately I can tell I am getting more confident with myself.
It has taken a long time to gain the confidence I have today, and a lot of experiences.
In Middle School I had about no confidence in myself.
I hated how I looked and I took comments people said about me personally.
I picked myself apart all the time, I just looked at what I didn't like about myself.
In 7th grade I grew my bangs out so that they covered half of my face because I 'didn't like my eyes'.
I wore baggy boy clothes to cover my body (and because I was a tomboy), I didn't brush my hair half the time, and if it wasn't black, I didn't want it.
I was just a total wreck, and not just even with just my looks.I didn't believe in myself at all.
I gave up almost instantly if I couldn't figure something out; which I still sometimes do today. D:
I felt like I had no good qualities.It didn't help that my father and his side of the family pretty much told me I was ugly. :
Now onto 8th grade.
By 8th grade, I was wearing a bit more color and dying my hair every other month.

I still wasn't the most confident individual, but my level of confidence was rising a bit.
I started to not give a fuck about what other people thought of my looks and just did my own thing.
I kept my bangs long, but my eyes showed now, and I started to experiment with makeup.
By 9th grade I really didn't care what people thought of me, I started to live by the philosophy of, 'people will always find something they don't like about another person(me), but as long as I am happy, I don't care'. ( I live by this philosophy)
I still didn't feel pretty, but I was feeling better than in 7th grade.
In 10th grade I wore as much makeup as I do now.
I discovered foundation and its wonders.
Also at this time I started to shave & draw on my eyebrows.
I felt completely ugly without my makeup on, but with it on I felt a lot more confident.
Makeup seemed to become a need for me, I would take at least 2 hours to get ready everyday.
I would not leave the house without my hair and makeup done.
This pretty much applies for 11th grade also.And pretty much 12th grade. :0
I did start to gain self-worth in these high school years.
Fast forwarding to today, I've started to feel more confidence with my looks outside of makeup.
I will wear little to no makeup when company comes over, where in the past I would get all dolled up.
I've actually been going out to places without makeup on also.
I feel very proud of myself for doing these things, because now makeup is my passion/hobby and not a necessity.
I still have my down days, but I don't feel that I am ugly or worthless.
And that makes me feel great.
(me without makeup)


  1. Reading this is really touching. Its really great that you feel like you're becoming more confident as time passes by. I can relate a lot when it comes to middle school. D:

    You look pretty no matter what missy. :3

  2. Thankyou. ;w;
    I want to work on being the best me I can!