Confindence.

So lately I can tell I am getting more confident with myself.

It has taken a long time to gain the confidence I have today, and a lot of experiences.

In Middle School I had about no confidence in myself.

I hated how I looked and I took comments people said about me personally.

I picked myself apart all the time, I just looked at what I didn't like about myself.

In 7th grade I grew my bangs out so that they covered half of my face because I 'didn't like my eyes'.

I wore baggy boy clothes to cover my body (and because I was a tomboy), I didn't brush my hair half the time, and if it wasn't black, I didn't want it.

I was just a total wreck, and not just even with just my looks.I didn't believe in myself at all.

I gave up almost instantly if I couldn't figure something out; which I still sometimes do today. D:

I felt like I had no good qualities.It didn't help that my father and his side of the family pretty much told me I was ugly. :

Now onto 8th grade.
By 8th grade, I was wearing a bit more color and dying my hair every other month.

I still wasn't the most confident individual, but my level of confidence was rising a bit.

I started to not give a fuck about what other people thought of my looks and just did my own thing.

I kept my bangs long, but my eyes showed now, and I started to experiment with makeup.

By 9th grade I really didn't care what people thought of me, I started to live by the philosophy of, 'people will always find something they don't like about another person(me), but as long as I am happy, I don't care'. ( I live by this philosophy)

I still didn't feel pretty, but I was feeling better than in 7th grade.

In 10th grade I wore as much makeup as I do now.

I discovered foundation and its wonders.

Also at this time I started to shave & draw on my eyebrows.

I felt completely ugly without my makeup on, but with it on I felt a lot more confident.

Makeup seemed to become a need for me, I would take at least 2 hours to get ready everyday.

I would not leave the house without my hair and makeup done.

This pretty much applies for 11th grade also.And pretty much 12th grade. :0

I did start to gain self-worth in these high school years.

Fast forwarding to today, I've started to feel more confidence with my looks outside of makeup.

I will wear little to no makeup when company comes over, where in the past I would get all dolled up.

I've actually been going out to places without makeup on also.

I feel very proud of myself for doing these things, because now makeup is my passion/hobby and not a necessity.

I still have my down days, but I don't feel that I am ugly or worthless.

And that makes me feel great.

(me without makeup)